This article is not written to rebuke or judge. We are here to help you follow the path that is right for you. When I was young I did not know there was even a path to follow and because of that I made some big mistakes. I don’t want you to make those same mistakes. The path we’re talking about is the Godly courtship path rather than the dating path. There is a HUGE difference between the two.
When you are dating it is more difficult to say “no” to sex because dating puts you in certain situations that you should not even be in to begin with. Dating also carries an attitude of expectation and desire, which leads to sex before marriage.
Let’s take a look at some of those situations that dating can put you in so you will have a better understanding of the difference between dating and Godly courtship.
Negative Dating Situations and Attitudes
1. Dating always puts you in a room alone with the opposite sex
2. Dating puts you in a car alone with opposite sex
3. Dating always puts you someplace alone with opposite sex
4. Dating attitude is only interested in appearance
5. With dating there is always an expectation to have sex
6. Dating carries with it feelings of lust and desire for the other person
7. Dating is built upon non commitment
What do These Situations and Attitude Lead to… ?
4. Fake praise
5. Feelings of lust and desire
7. Sexual Diseases
8. Low self-esteem
9. Lost virginity
10. Loss of emotional balance and stability
11. Loss of a relationship with Jesus Christ (Remember, Jesus is the Holy Spirit, meaning, He is with you in Spirit-His Spirit Lives within you… and He knows everything about you)
If you do not have a close relationship with the Lord now, ask Him to come into your life today and then follow His precepts and the path He is leading you to be on. God’s Love is His Discipline for us!
“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” (Titus 2:11-12)
The Just Say “No” Path
Of course there are more situations that bring about premarital sex in a relationship but it is these major ones we mentioned above that we need to focus on. Grab a friend and encourage one another to follow in the path that God has outlined for you.
If we followed the precept of “never being alone with the opposite sex” until a commitment to marriage” is made, or better yet, marriage, then we would not have to say “no” to fornication in the first place.
Following this path, you’ll be saying “no” less often or not at all if you do not allow yourself to be alone with the opposite sex.
If the person you are with expects you to have sex with them then they are not really caring about your feelings. They only care about what they can get from you. This means, if you cave in to their demands to have sex, then you are giving them what they want and desire, while they disrespect your body, your mind, and your spiritual self. This will hurt your self esteem. This will hurt your relationship with God too.
This next path keeps you from being deceived. We’ve told you about those people with expectations, (those who want to be alone with you) and now you do not have to allow yourself to be deceived to have sex before marriage. It’s your body and you have the right to just say “no” to going somewhere alone and to flirtatious / sexual advances.
Sexual intimacy means nothing unless you are married, and you’ll come to know this if you contemplate all the negatives of having sex outside of marriage that are documented in the Godly courtship ministry website. Sex within the boundaries of marriage is the only way God intended sexual relations for.
The point is,you NEED to respect yourself and value your body, mind and spirit enough to just say “no” to those who pressure you to have sex. God created the beautiful person you are… on the inside and outside, and if you disrespect yourself, you are essentially disrespecting Gods creation.
Remember: you are NOT a bad person for having caved in to temptation in the past, but if you want to please God and value yourself, you truly need to put the past behind you and grow to be the woman or man that God intended you to be for Him, for yourself, and for others.
Some day you will have a spouse to love and care for, and PLEASING God now is truly the best marriage preparation on the face of the earth… it’s called purity and holiness in Praise of our Creator!
God knew you would be tempted but He lets us know that He has given us a way out of this temptation. It’s not “being” tempted that’s the problem; the problem is falling into it and doing things that goes against Gods plan for you.
1 Corinthians 10:13 declares: There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
Wow! God has given you the ability to just say “no” and escape the temptation and also to be able to bear it! God is GREAT! All God wants from you is the FAITH to believe this. If you believe what God says for you then it will be so.This is what TRUST in Jesus Christ is all about.
How you handle saying “no” is up to you. Pray about it and the Lord will help you to explain to your friend, who may be pressuring you that you want to stay pure for yourself and for God! This is your mission as a single person.
If someone continues to pressure you to have sex with them then it may be time to evaluate that friendship. A true friend would never do anything that would harm you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
God blesses those who trust in Him!